2011 Recap

In 2010, I read 34 books.  I read the same amount in 2011.  The heck?  Why can’t I read more?  Stupid being an adult with stupid responsibilities.

Anyway.  For those interested (and looking for a handy-dandy reference [or possibly I'm just completely too anal-retentive for words]), here’s the complete listing of What She Read in 2011.  An asterisk (*) marks the ones I’d never read before.

January
1.  Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
2. Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

February
3. The Laughing Corpse by Laurell K. Hamilton

March
4. Devil’s Bride by Stephanie Laurens*
5. Heat Wave by “Richard Castle”*
6. Conspiracy in Death by J.D. Robb
7. Hot Money by Dick Francis
8. F is for Fugitive by Sue Grafton
9. Cause of Death by Patricia Cornwell
10. The Lost Continent by Bill Bryson*

April
11. The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris*

May
12. Live and Let Die by Ian Fleming*
13. The Late Hector Kipling by David Thewlis*
14. Solar by Ian McEwan*

June
15. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
16. Seduced by his Touch by Tracy Anne Warren*
17. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
18. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
19. The Green Lantern Chronicles, Vol. 1 by John Broome & Gil Kane*

July
20. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
21. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

August
22. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
23. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
24. The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie R. King
25. A Monstrous Regiment of Women by Laurie R. King

September
26. A Letter of Mary by Laurie R. King*

October
27. The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy*
28. Naked Heat by “Richard Castle”*
29. The Surgeon by Tess Gerritsen*
30.  Club Dead by Charlaine Harris*

November
31. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson*

December
32. Retail Hell by Freeman Hall*
33. The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammet*
34. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer*

 

Random Post!: I Wants This, Sherlock Holmes, Pirates!, and more

I have finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but some cool stuff has appeared on the internets that match my interests, and I figure hey, if you read this, maybe they’ll be part of your interests, too!

1. I Wants This!: The Griff, a new graphic novel by Christopher Moore

Oh, Christopher Moore. I have read almost all of his books ever (Coyote Blue and The Island of the Sequined Love Nun are the only two to elude me), and when I saw this pop on my GoodReads feed — well, wait; first, when I saw his name pop up on my newsfeed, I jumped up and got all squealy. And then, when I realized it was his first graphic novel? Then I got so squealy, dogs started to bark.

2. I Wants This Too!: Beekeeping for Beginners, a new short story by Laurie R. King

Oh, Laurie R. King! After the Harry Potter series is through (sniff), I think I’m going to reread The Beekeeper’s Apprentice and A Monstrous Regiment of Women again so I can actually continue on into the series. This will present a problem for me — a slight one, only slight — in that I have never yet re-read a book I have already posted about. How is that going to work?

But to get back to the I Wants This: Beekeeping for Beginners is a short story (I’m not sure how short), but from the summary, I’m assuming it’s The Beekeeper’s Apprentice as told from Holmes’s point of view. I — I — I can’t even! I don’t even have a Kindle, but I will totally download the Kindle app thingy for free so I can read this (it’s unavailable in print as of yet), and HOLY CRAP THE THOUGHTS I cannot express them, I am so excited at the prospect of this short story.

3. The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Okay, so this isn’t a book. But! Remember back when I read The Pirates! In An Adventure With Communists!? There’s a movie about them! By Aardman Productions (the same company responsible for Wallace and Gromit)!! And it comes out near my birthday next year! It’s like an early birthday present! And now I can’t stop using exclamation points!

Here’s the link to the trailer (Hugh Grant voices the Pirate Captain, and Martin Freeman and David Tennant are in it too!): link.

4. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Here’s another trailer I can’t wait for OMG. I loved the first movie, I saw it three times in the theater. Because I am crazy, and because British!Robert Downey Jr. is the only thing that trumps Tony Stark!Robert Downey Jr.

Bonus: Moriarty is played by the same guy who plays Lane Pryce on Mad Men.

So, because there’s no way I’m not showing you Robert Downey Jr. in a dress (you’ll see), here’s the link to that trailer: link.

Stay tuned for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Review. Coming soon.

2010 Recap

In 2010, I read 34 books.  That is one less than I read in 2009.  What is up with that?  How am I getting worse at this?

Oh well.  Here’s a complete list of what I read in 2010, as a handy reference.  Any marked with an asterisk (*) is a title I had not previously read.  Enjoy.

January
1. E is for Evidence by Sue Grafton
2. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
3. The Dead Man’s Brother by Roger Zelazny*
4. Beauty by Robin McKinley*

February
5. Beguiled by Shannon Drake*
6. Casino Royale by Ian Fleming*
7. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith*

March
8. The Danger by Dick Francis
9. Deja Dead by Kathy Reichs
10. Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica*

April
11. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
12. Bound and Determined by Shayla Black*
13. The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler

May
14. The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman*
15. Decadent by Shayla Black*
16. Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins

June
17. Holiday in Death by J.D. Robb*
18. A Rogue’s Game by Renee Bernard*
19. The Pirates! In an Adventure With Communists by Gideon Defoe*

July
20. Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris*
21. Feast of Murder by Jane Haddam
22. IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas by Chuck Klosterman*

August
23. The Sherlock Holmes Mysteries by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle*
24. A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood*
25. Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell*
26. Boomsday by Christopher Buckley*

September
27. Death du Jour by Kathy Reichs
28. To Ruin the Duke by Debra Mullins*

October
29. Alice I Have Been by Melanie Benjamin*
30. Indemnity Only by Sara Paretsky

November
31. Barely a Lady by Eileen Dreyer*
32. A Stillness in Bethlehem by Jane Haddam

December
33. The Corpse Wore Pasties by Jonny Porkpie*
34. My Booky Wook by Russell Brand*

Random Post!: Sherlock, Zombies, and Antiquarian Romance

Two weeks ago, I indulged in a biannual desire to buy books off of Amazon. I know I shouldn’t, mainly because I have too many books as it is, but also, it’s expensive and it adds up and ADMITTING IT IS THE FIRST STEP, right?

Anyway: I was originally looking for the DVD of the BBC series of Sherlock. I had watched the first episode on Masterpiece Mystery and fell in love with it, and hey, it was cheaper on Amazon than at Borders! Plus free shipping!

And then I started looking at other things, and this is what I ended up with:

You may ask, what the hell is all that crap? Well, the thing on the left is my copy of Sherlock, which I highly recommend for any fans of Sherlock Holmes. This is a reimagining of the classic detective: Sherlock is in his, I’d guess late-twenties-early-thirties, and John Watson is still an army surgeon, but this time the escapades take place in modern London. Holmes texts Lestrade and uses nicotine patches to help him think (the first escapade, “A Study in Pink,” is apparently a “three-patch problem”).

The letter is something that came in the mail to me. Its return address was somewhere in Philadelphia, but it didn’t have the appearance of a mass mailing. Curious, I opened it, and found a wonderful handwritten note inside:

Dearest Neighborly Acquaintance,

Please excuse the impropriety of dropping you this note unannounced. However, I thought it my duty to warn you of the danger that is overrunning dear England. A horde of reanimated corpses — known as unmentionables, dreadfuls, or zombies, depending on your dialect — is spreading a terrible plague against which you must defend yourself.

As you may already know, I, Elizabeth Bennet, lived a life of peace and propriety in the English countryside until a pustulent plague of unmentionables rose from the earth and began to wreak havoc on dear Hertfordshire. Thankfully, my sisters and I were trained in the most vicious defense techniques: swordplay, hand-to-hand combat, musketry, and sharp wit. “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” is a tale inspired by my family’s struggle to defeat the unmentionables, and includes descriptions of our various tactical techniques — and occasional social foibles.

I hope we can remain in contact as the number of zombies rises. I have purchased a Macintosh computer and am attempting to spread the word of my quest through the internet. You may find my digital correspondence, as well as those of my friends and family, at quirkclassics.com/zombies. Please help my cause by spreading the word — and above all else, take care.

Sincerely yours,

Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn Estate
Hertfordshire, England

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

The final thing — and the item you’re probably scratching your head over the most — is the book on the right. The Tiger Lily, by Shirley Busbee. That, my friends, was the first historical romance I ever “read.” And I definitely want to use those sarcastic quotation marks, because I didn’t read it so much as look for the naughty bits.

See, I was probably about 11 or 12. I had just learned what “fuck” meant on the playground and, though nowhere near as advanced as today’s youths are, I was learning about sexual relations as well. I don’t remember much from this book aside from some twenty-page-long sex scenes (including one in a gazebo!), but I remembered it fondly as my introduction to smut.

And then my mother sold it in a book sale or whatever and it disappeared. And I’ve been searching for it ever since.

And now (or, over the next year, when I finally get my to-read pile down again), I’ll read it from start to finish, and I’m sure I will giggle away many a night at the atrocity of its writing.

By God — it’ll be beautiful.

Seriously, I was so excited to see that these packages had come in the mail, I jumped up and down A LOT. I haven’t been this happy since I figured out how to turn a bag of alcohol into a Capri-Sun.

How Alaina spent her Saturday night

In Memoriam: Dick Francis

Dick Francis passed away today at age 89. This news made me sad – not depressed or anything, the man was 89, but still.

The first Dick Francis novel I read was Banker. I think the second was Longshot, and I know another early one was Twice Shy. Over the past … [quickly does math] 15 years? I’ve read all of his books, save the three he wrote with his son in recent years, and his autobiography, The Sport of Queens. He is one of my favorite authors ever, and while I toast to his long and happy life, I am also saddened by the death of someone I consider to be a literary friend. [Not that I ever met him - I just share so much history with his books and -- okay, I'm done babbling.]

I’ve already directed you to Longshot late last year; here are some of my other favorites:

• For Kicks, written in 1965, was Dick Francis’s third novel. As I mentioned in the review of Longshot, Mr. Francis rarely uses the same narrator twice (I’ll list those instances below). This adventure concerns Daniel Roke, an Australian horse breeder and trainer who is asked to investigate a doping ring back in England. I’ve read this a couple of times. It’s one of the few adventures to take place even slightly outside of Britain. And honestly, Daniel Roke is a bit of a bruiser, which I always appreciate.
• Proof, written in 1984. Proof is the story of widower Tony Beach, a wine merchant who buries himself in his work to avoid his grief. At a party he provides the wine for, a truck runs into the canopy and injures many and, if I remember from the last time I read it two years ago, kills a couple of people as well. Tony teams up with a detective to solve the mystery of who was driving the truck, and stumbles into a separate mystery of local taverns experiencing watered-down whiskey and wine. This time the story is only tangentially related to racing, and it’s one of the mysteries that is not narrated by someone involved in the racing world. An excellent tale of suspense.
• The Danger, written in 1983. I’ve only read this once, but it’s stuck with me. Andrew Douglas works for a company that assists in negotiating with kidnappers and other types of almost-terrorists. In the same week (I think), a superstar Italian female jockey is kidnapped, as well as the only son of a premiere gentleman of British racing. I probably would have reread this sooner, but I think the copy I have is almost falling apart. I predict it’ll appear farther along in 2010.
• Finally, there is Hot Money, written in 1987. This is the tale of the Pembrokes. Malcolm Pembroke, the patriarch, has five ex-wives and nine children, and as the latest and most hated of the ex-wives is found dead, the children are squabbling amongst themselves, and suspect that one of them was involved. Malcolm turns to his beloved son, Ian, for help. Ian is an amateur jockey, hence the racing tie-in. But this was a very character-driven mystery, and the characters were all distinctive enough, even coming from a large family.

The two narrators who get repeat turns are Kit Fielding, first seen in Break In and followed in Bolt the very next year; and his most prolific narrator, Sid Halley, the investigator introduced in Odds Against. He has three other novels dedicated to him: Whip Hand, Come to Grief, and Under Orders. Sid is notable due to his jockey career being cut short when a horse stepped on his hand, leaving it crippled. In later books, the damaged hand gets amputated, and he must deal with the loss.

I always feel guilty when I look at my bookshelf across from my bed and see all of the Dick Francis novels, and I’ve only been reading about one a year for a while now. His books are easy to grasp and quick reads; I should be reading them more often. I strongly recommend anything that Dick Francis has written, even if you don’t like horses or racing. The characters are fully formed and the plots move along with great suspense.

In the meantime, rest in peace, Mr. Francis. You will be missed.

Article, WSJ: “Longing for Great Lost Works”

In a very odd convergence of events, Matt at work brought in the following article about Great Lost Works, found in his daily Wall Street Journal:

Both William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes died April 23, 1616, the same exact date but 10 days apart, since England was on the Julian Calendar while Spain was on the Gregorian. It’s a fortunate coincidence (or near coincidence) because collectively, they produced one of the greatest missing literary works of all time, the play ‘Cardenio.’

It’s an Odd Convergence because I recently finished reading Interred With Their Bones, which is all about the search for the missing Cardenio. Even Odder, apparently Matt never really noticed that I was reading Interred With Their Bones, but assumed I was reading the Complete Works of Shakespeare when I was looking for a monologue for a friend. Anyway, look! Apparently Cardenio isn’t a Made Up Thing!

Other news: Here’s my reading pile:

Yes, there are all of the books I’m currently reading, with the exception of The Favored Child there on the bottom. You’ll notice how careful I am to not let any New Moon get on PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES.

And in case you are shaking your head at the fact that I am indeed subjecting myself to reading New Moon, first of all, I promised my sister (and I learned my lesson about breaking promises to my sister after I had to sign a contract IN BLOOD that I would read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone before graduating high school all those years ago. I started reading it the night before I graduated, so as to not offend her royal highness.)

Secondly, why else do you think I’m reading so many books at the same time (Book-ADHD aside)? If I was only reading New Moon, I shouldn’t be held accountable for my actions.

Thirdly, let me show you Picture Number Two:

I am on page 227, and I have used 24 Post-It flags of various colors. You’ll notice that the majority of them are orange and yellow. Those are for when Bella’s a Bitch While Narrating and Really Bad Writing, respectively.

Let’s just say it’s a miracle my wall hasn’t been dented.

And so that I don’t end with the Twilight series, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS:

Zombies mash-up author receives $575,000 for follow-up, ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER.

CAN’T. FUCKING. WAIT. OMG.

I Wants This!: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

So, right now, I’m reading, like, six books at once. I blame Mercury being in Retrograde for the majority of January and now the full moon, and the fact that my attention span has been rivalling that of Hiro Nakamura in a House of Waffles (sorry, latent Heroes reference. I will try to refrain). Those six books are:

• A Lady of Scandal by Nicole Byrd, which is an unashamed Regency romance involving twins named from Shakespeare (Cordelia and Ophelia), a ruffian named Ransom, his vicar cousin named Giles (GILES!) and how Ophelia manages to be an actress when she’s a lady of ‘quality.’ Pure trash.
• The Firm by John Grisham. This is at least the third if not fourth time I’ve read this. I mean, I can’t bring A Lady of Scandal to read on my lunch break at work; if I was teased about reading The Masque of the Black Tulip, which is about spies? A paperback with flowery print covering a woman gettinig out of a carraige with her ankles exposed will send The Boys into fits of lolz.
• Fluke; or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings by Christopher Moore. Another book I’m reading at work, because dudes, I’ve read The Firm how many times?
• Stranger by Megan Hart, which is Mid-Western Philosophy about a funeral director who, in order to escape intimacy, pays strangers to … discuss important topics such as truth and beauty. But when she picks up an actual stranger in a bar, her world turns upside-down (as it tends to do).
• The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J. Maarten Troost. Maarten leaves his boring Washington DC world behind to travel with his girlfriend to an unknown island in the South Pacific. This is his story.
• Finally, The Laughing Corpse by Laurell K. Hamilton, the second book in her Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter stories. I’m reading this for a few reasons: 1), because it follows Guilty Pleasures which I read last year; 2), I’ve read it before (this is again, at least the third time), and after Tess, I wanted something easy and trashy; and 3), because it involved zombies.

I’m actually writing (I know!) a story involving zombies, so The Laughing Corpse started as research. But then, lovely Stacy informed me of the best new book ever:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Yes, my friends – someone has finally done the Awesome and put ZOMBIES in a classic JANE AUSTEN NOVEL.

If you don’t believe me, go here and watch a short interview with the editor from the small publishing house. Stacy heard about it on Saturday, I checked out amazon.com on Saturday night, and now I WANTS IT. I wants it like Gollum.

And think of the ramifications. Pride and Prejudice is pretty good as it stands now, but zombies can only make it THAT MUCH BETTER. Pretty soon, all the cool kids will be doing it – and by ‘it,’ I mean inserting supernatural ideas into classic literature. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a classic novel taught in schools of good name, must be in need of some zombies.

And then, there are the film adaptations! As much as I don’t really like Kiera Knightley (a.k.a. Skeletor) and her version of P&P, I would pay to go see her running around Meryton with a shotgun and a machete. Lydia doesn’t run away with Wickham, she gets kidnapped by zombies! (I’m assuming – I have not read the book yet). Colin Firth, emerging from the lake, protecting Jennifer Ehle against a zombie uprising at Pemberley! Oh my … I WANTS IT.

According to the film clip, the book is slated for publication on April 1. BUY THIS BOOK. FOR REALS. Because I think it’s going to be awesome! And if everyone I know goes out and buys a copy on Publication Day, and if everyone I know tells everyone they know, you know what will happen? Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will become the new Twilight, and the earthly balance will be restored.