So after the masochism of Wideacre and the intellectual stimulation that was Watchmen (sidebar: what’s with the ‘W’ titles?), I needed to read something that was considerably less of both. Luckily, Midwestern Philosophy is about as far away from either of those as you can get.
The Plot: Philamina Zorn is an Internal Affairs officer who volunteers for an undercover mission to get some actual crime-solving experience. Right there: classic. Over-the-top name of the main character (she goes by Phil for short, which can be somewhat disconcerting during the sex scenes, because the first time you read “My God, Phil, you are so tight,” you hear in your head Wait a minute – I’m pretty sure this isn’t that kind of Midwestern Philosophy), worked in the Internal Affairs department, wink wink nudge nudge, and oh yeah, the undercover role? Is as a cocktail waitress in a strip club. And because she’s so hot, on her second night she gets bought for a lap dance, and then some stripper doesn’t show up so Phil has to go on, and she instantly becomes the best stripper in the history of stripping.
There’s supposedly a plot, involving missing strippers that could possibly be murdered, and Phil’s investigating the closed case of her father’s suicide on the side (he was also a cop, and she believes he was framed by his fellow officers, which is what led her to IA in the first place), but you know what? It’s not important.
Some things I didn’t like:
The object of Phil’s attention is her boss, Lieutenant Ty Jamerson. In fiction, I have no problem with sleeping up, ifyaknowwhadimean, and it was mutual, and there was no icky harrassment factor. What I didn’t like was that Phil called Ty ‘sir’ during sex. A lot. No, seriously:
Phil swayed and moved around to the back of the chair. “I have something hot and moist for you, sir, something so hot you’ll scream.”
I can’t make this stuff up.
Also, just as a note to Ms. Tabke, not everyone knows cop-speak. I watch a lot of TV, and of that TV, a good amount are procedural shows, so I know a little bit. But calling an address an ‘addy’ is going to confuse people. As well as other abbreviations like “lieu” for lieutenant and … there was something else that I’m not going to look up now, but still, the point stands.
If you’re looking for something worse than trashy, I recommend this? As much as I can recommend midwestern philosophy? Look, I didn’t throw it across the room, and I read the entire book (not just the good parts), so if you like this sort of thing, go for it.
Grade for Good Girl Gone Bad: 2.5 stars