This is the third book in the Bevelstoke trilogy, following The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever and What Happens in London, both of which I also read last year, in case you forgot.
That’s right, bitches! I managed to read an entire romance novel triad in the space of a YEAR. BOOM!
This book stars Sir Harry Valentine’s cousin, Sebastian Grey. He was the one who performed a reading of Miss Butterworth and the Mad Baron in front of Harry, Olivia, and Prince Alexei, which led to him falling off a coffee table and dislocating his shoulder.
Remember when I told you about this joke and that it would be even funnier later?
“‘Purview’ is not used correctly,” Prince Alexei said. [NOTE: this is a running gag about the first paragraph of Miss Butterworth.]
Sebastian looked up, his eyes flashing with irritation. “Of course it is.” [NOTE: this will be funnier in the next book.]
Alexei jabbed a finger in Harry’s direction. “He said it is not.”
“It’s not,” Harry said with a shrug.
“What’s wrong with it?” Sebastian demanded.
“It implies that what she sees is under her power or control.”
“How do you know it’s not?”
“I don’t,” Harry admitted, “but she doesn’t seem in control of anything else.” He looked over at the prince. “Her mother was pecked to death by pigeons.”
“That happens,” Alexei said with a nod.
What Happens in London, p. 168
The reason it’s funnier now is because Sebastian Grey is the author of the Miss Butterworth books!
Note: Before I get into the meat of this, I would like to post a trigger warning that this book does contain an instance of attempted rape. Definitely attempted, not completed, but – it’s there.
Sebastian suffers from insomnia – most likely a form of PTSD after being a sniper in the Napoleonic Wars. One night, he’s staring at the ceiling, and before he realizes it, it’s dawn. He starts having very poetic thoughts about the light of dawn and how it slants in through the windows, and he decides to write it down. He quickly comes up with a main character, and BOOM – he continues writing under the pseudonym of “Sarah Gorely,” and while he doesn’t improve his sleeping habits, he does quite enjoy being in high society and hearing all the women love the Sarah Gorely books and they don’t know it’s him.
Sebastian is also the presumed heir of his uncle, Lord Newbury, who is a horrible, horrible man, on the hunt for a new wife to beget him a son and rightful heir. For whatever reason, Newbury hates Sebastian and “would rather die than have Sebastian inherit,” and tragically does not even begin to see the irony in that sentence. Sebastian doesn’t really care whether he inherits or not, and enjoys sleeping around with married women.
Enter Annabel Winslow, granddaughter of … some Lord or whatever. Annabel is the eldest of eight siblings, and she is here for her first season specifically to marry for financial reasons. Her grandmother practically arranges an engagement between Annabel and Lord Newbury, even though Annabel never says “yes”. Lord Newbury only sees Annabel’s wide hips and feels that she’ll bear him a son right off – there is no other consideration.
And look, Lord Newbury is awful, and to be honest, possibly a bit over the top? At the first ball we see Annabel attend, Newbury accosts her in a hallway, and not just kissing – there is groping involved. I think Annabel kicks him and runs out of the house, and that’s where she meets Sebastian – although she doesn’t realize until after they flirt and kiss that he’s Sebastian Grey, nephew to Lord Newbury. So she makes every attempt to ignore Sebastian because even though she hates the idea, she has at this point convinced herself that she has to marry Newbury for the sake of her family.
But Sebastian and Annabel keep running into each other. After they share a box at the opera (with Sebastian’s cousin, Harry Valentine and his wife, Olivia, and some friends of Annabel’s), Sebastian goes to his club where Newbury punches him in the face and tells Sebastian to stay away from Newbury’s future wife, Annabel. Now Annabel is the latest scandal in the ton – palling around with the rakish nephew of the ugly, awful lord to whom she’s practically engaged.
Olivia tells Sebastian that he must remain friends with Annabel, because if he drops her (in an attempt to save face), the gossip will be terrible and Annabel will be shunned. So Olivia takes Sebastian over to Annabel’s grandmother’s house for a visit, and their blossoming friendship is what spurs Lord Newbury to again decide that he wants Annabel for himself.
Finally, all the involved parties go to the country for a house party, and there, Sebastian realizes that he loves Annabel, who is funny, and laughs loudly, and basically calms his mind down enough for him to hear actual thoughts, including advice on how to maybe get some real sleep. He proposes, and Annabel wants to accept, but hesitates, because of the Newbury of it all. But after dinner, when Newbury basically announces to her that he’s going to announce to the house party that they’re engaged, Annabel points out that she has not accepted him yet. This makes Newbury so mad that he almost hits Annabel, but Sebastian comes to her rescue.
Later that night, Newbury breaks into Annabel’s guest room and attempts to rape her. Luckily, Sebastian was attempting to break into Annabel’s room for a mutual seduction (because Sebastian understands consent), and pulls Newbury off the bed and Annabel hits him with a poker, and all of a sudden, Newbury is dead.
(Except he isn’t; he’s merely stunned. Annabel’s grandmother shows up and reads Newbury the riot act, so he goes back to his room, Annabel’s grandmother hears both Sebastian and Annabel proclaim their intent to marry, and then she goes back to bed. Sebastian joins Annabel for some pre-marital sexing, and then he sleeps soundly the rest of the night.)
(That isn’t meant to sound like all he needed to beat insomnia was a good sexing; no, it’s the fact that he’s sharing a bed with Annabel and for the first time comfortable in his own skin. You get that, right?)
So the title comes about because both Sebastian and Annabel write lists in their head for reasons why things are the way they are. Like, I think Annabel’s first list is Ten Reasons Why She Should Marry Newbury, and numbers 1 through 7 are her siblings, 8 is money, 9 is security, and 10 is because her grandmother told her to. None of the reasons are love.
The book is very cute, and a good ending to the trilogy. However, while I really liked Sebastian and Annabel and their relationship, I felt that What Happens In London is still the best book out of the entire trilogy – Lord Newbury’s awfulness brought the whole thing down a couple of stars.
My order of preference would be: What Happens in London, followed by Ten Things I Love About You, and finally The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever, because yes, I am still mad about the whole Schrodinger’s Baby of that last book. But honestly, if you only read What Happens in London, I think you’ll be satisfied.
The Guster Reading Challenge Song for this book is “Fall In Two,” the first track off of their first LP, Parachute, for “reading a book with a number in the title.” And I clearly have never listened to Parachute all the way through (I KNOW, I’m mad at myself too), because I can hear Ryan, but the other singer doesn’t sound anything like Adam.
Grade for Ten Things I Love About You: 3 stars
That's What She Read 